day 6- favorite super hero and why

I'm going to go a bit deeper into this post than I'm sure was originally intended. I loved comic books/graphic novels as a kid. Loved. I had my favorites. But I've grown now. A little. Kind of. I don't want x-ray vision or super-fast speed anymore. I would absolutely love to settle for being out of debt, or being really speedy about folding all of my laundry. My goals have changed. What I want has changed.
So, on that note, I would have to say that my favorite super hero is my mom. Kim.
She raised 4 daughters (alone for the most part) with my Dad usually working 3 jobs to support us all so my Mom could stay at home. When my parents got divorced when I was 10, my Mom moved all four of us to a new house over an hour away. She found, painted, and decorated this house in a week, so we could move out in time to start school in the fall. She continued to be a single parent. An amazing single Mom. And let me tell you, none of us made it easy on her. She was often stressed, but made it hard to tell. A little over a year ago, she picked up a second job, and often works from 8 am to 11 pm. And usually either Saturday or Sunday. Sometimes both. She went to the doctor this October (For the first time in about 10 years) with a suspected lump, and found out that she has stage 3 breast cancer. She had a right-side mastectomy two weeks before Christmas, and had her remaining 19 lymph nodes removed this past Tuesday. She starts chemotherapy in about 2 weeks, and will have 3-4 treatments which will go on through May. She will lose her hair. And she still plans on working both of her jobs. We're going to the wig shop this week to find her a pretty one.
So, you may have been expecting something a bit funnier and more upbeat. Sorry to disappoint. My mom is pretty great, and if I can be half as strong and half the mother that she is, I'll consider myself pretty darn successful.

day 5- a picture of somewhere you've been to

Lee and I lived in Hawaii during the first 5 weeks after we found out I was preggers. This is a picture of our last day. We went to the beach and tried to take in everything and remember. We literally boarded the plane about 3 hours after this picture was taken.

day 4- a habit that you wish you didn’t have

I have a tendancy to drag out fights and debates after the conversation is wayyy over. Even after I say, "I'm done talking about this", I continue to make little comments and have to have the last word. Lee hates it, although he's kind of the same way. It's quite horrible, really.

day 3- a picture of you and your friends

These are my sorority sisters. We're all weird, and they're all amazing. I love them so much. They're always there for me. :)

DIY baby project.

I need to get going on my pre-baby resolution of making things for the little bean. After all, she could be here in 6 weeks! I've decided to make some sort of mobile, with curtain-things/mosquito netting around it. I don't want it directly over the crib, because that makes me too nervous. Plus, when she can stand up, she'll probably just pull it down anyway. I want to do it somewhat like this picture:



I'm planning on using fishing line (with weights attached at the bottom)... yay for using my tackle box for crafts! A sewing/quilting hoop, and cardstock for the butterflies. I want the butterflies to be green, brown, tan and white... with possibly a couple of little pink flowers thrown in. I want to add fabric draping down from the hoop... possibly white or tan tool. I'm unsure still. I may add a little night light to it somehow... I'll have to do some research. I'm excited to start. My next project will be learning how to crochet, and making a little hat. :)

day 2- the meaning behind your blog name

Well, my blog name is pretty self-explanatory. When I was living in Hawaii at the beginning of my pregnancy, I had let my previous blog die a bit. I didn't keep up with it as much as I should have been, and I needed a new project since Lee and I were stuck inside most days. I also decided that I want to keep some sort of a pregnancy journal because I did not want to miss a second of this experience. I want the baby to be able to read through this some day and know how her mama was feeling. It was supposed to be mainly a pregnancy blog... you know... bean 2 baby. The transition from getting pregnant to giving birth, but I will no doubt keep up with this for as long as I can. Hopefully through baby #2... you know in 4-5 years. maybe. we'll see. :)

day 1- recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself

I think this is one of the only recent pictures of myself. I've hated having the camera turned on me for the last few months. Or rather, I dislike the outcome. Sometimes I'll take 30+ pictures of myself... trying to find a suitable one. But I'm my own worst critic, so this can become difficult. I'm just very sad that I will have almost no pictures of me during my whole pregnancy. :( Stupid self-image problems.
Anyways, I like this picture because it's a cute one of baby-daddy and I from new years... which wasn't too long ago.

Now for the facts...
1. I was born completely bald. I'm talking cabbage-patch-doll style. I had very slight peach fuzz for the first 3 1/2-4 years before I got real hair. Sad. Baby-daddy was born with so much hair that they had to part it for his hospital picture. So we'll see what the bean gets. :)

2. When I can deliver a good (by my standards) and informational blog post, I feel like I accomplished something. Kind of like finishing my homework and knowing it was all done right.

3. I love shopping. Usually, I don't even buy anything. Or I'll buy something on clearance for under $5. I have actually gone shopping for hours, and will half-fill a cart, then will talk myself down on why I don't need anything that I picked up, and I will walk out of the store empty-handed (after returning everything to it's rightful place). I think it makes me feel like I have some sort of control. Oh! And about 50% of the time after I buy something, I'll return it to the store after convincing myself that I didn't need to buy it. Probably the reason I edit my baby registry every other day.

4. Have a complicated family-life. I am the second-oldest of four girls. They are 26, 19, and 18. My older sister and I are also adopted, but not related. My two younger sisters are my adoptive parents', who got pregnant after 10 years of being told they couldn't have children. I am in contact with my birth family and have a half-sister and a half-brother. My adoptive parents are divorced. My dad lives 2 hours north, and my birth family lives 2 1/2 hours south. It's easier to sort out when you know them. :)

5. I'm a very paranoid person. I think of every outcome for every situation in a feeble attempt to never be taken off-guard. I need to stop doing this BEFORE going into labor. I've already read far too many birth stories and the paranoia is definitely kicking in. (I just don't see how a baby can fit through there...)

6. I've never broken a bone. Unless you count the baby-tooth that broke when I was kicked in the face by my horse. I'm not sure it counts... it was a tooth after all. Oh, and it was at age 16. I have no idea why I still had baby teeth.

7. I love my dog, Lola, as if she were my first born. I will most likely have to give her up very very soon. :( Baby daddy and I are moving into a new place in the next couple of weeks. We're down to two places, one allows pets and one does not. Lee is leaning towards the place that does not allow pets. Very, very sad day for me is coming soon. I'm not far from tears just thinking about it. I don't want to give up my baby. :(

8. I met baby-daddy in a bar. :) He somehow convinced me to kiss him before I knew that his first name was Lee. Sad, I know. And now we're crazy in love and about to have a bebe. :)

9. I love caffeine. SO much. I still drink coffee regularly, but before I got pregnant, I was averaging 6-8 cups a day. Now it's 1-2. I would go to Starbucks every day if I could. And I still drink pop. Regular, diet, caffeinated, decaffeinated. Anything really. It's a problem. I hope to be rid of my addiction soon. I gave up a lot when I got pregnant, so it's kind of the last thing...

10. I feel like escalators are a difficult experience for me. Moving sidewalks as well. I have to concentrate when getting on or off one. Like if I don't pay attention, my shoelace will get stuck, or the bottom of my jeans. It's a very irrational fear.

11. I'm never not focused on something. Even if I'm "relaxing", I'm reading a book, cleaning, watching tv, blogging, writing, painting, thinking, planning, organizing. and so it goes. It's really difficult for me to clear my mind and relax 99.9% of the time.

12. Recently I've really enjoyed taking showers. I mean, I always like showers, but I'm taking like 2 a day recently. Part of it has to do with the fact that, since I've been pregnant, I always feel sweaty and gross. But also because I'm cold most of the time. (seems like an oxymoron, I know. but that's pregnancy hormones for you.) Actually, my feet and hands are always too cold, but my face and the rest of me are too warm. It makes sleeping quite interesting. I've always had poor circulation, and I hate socks. So that is a part of it also. But then I just get in the shower, and I feel wonderful. :)

13. I love when I can make people laugh. Some people think I'm funny. But it's a daily goal of mine to make Lee laugh. He makes me laugh all of the time. ALL of the time. When we were in the hospital, I had to ask him to stop talking because he was making me laugh too much and it hurt my belly. So when I can make him laugh, not just a chuckle or something, a real, gut-wrenching laugh, I feel like I've impressed him a little. Like he says to himself, "This is why I love her". And it makes me feel worthy of him, even for only a moment. :)

14. A secret I haven't told anyone yet: If I could have a do-over, or start again, I would go back to school and either be a midwife or an OB. Since being pregnant, I've done a ton of research and read lots of stories. I would love to help women have wonderful birth experiences. This may all change after I give birth myself, but it's a nice thought.

15. I hate being alone. I think I need to learn to be my own best friend. I don't even need to be in the same room as someone, but feeling another presence in the house is comforting. I think this is a big part of the reason that I miss my college town so much. All of my friends are there. Here, all I do is spend a very limited amount of time with my family (they're all very busy), or else I'm at work. I'm very much a people person. It's a big reason of why I can't wait for the bean to arrive. It's another person, even if she can't talk to me for awhile. She is someone that I'll be able to focus all of my love and attention into. I think baby daddy is going to feel a bit left out after she's born. :)


The end.

30 days of posts.

I saw this on another blog, and I was hoping it would help me with my pre-baby resolution to blog more.



day 1- recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
day 2- the meaning behind your blog name
day 3- a picture of you and your friends
day 4- a habit that you wish you didn’t have
day 5- a picture of somewhere you've been to
day 6- favorite super hero and why
day 7- a picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
day 8- short term goals for this month and why
day 9- something you're proud of in the past few days
day 10- songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, hyped, mad
day 11- another picture of you and your friends
day 12- how you found out about blogger and why you have one
day 13- a letter to someone
day 14- a picture of you and your family
day 15- put your ipod on shuffle: first 10 songs that play
day 16- another picture of yourself
day 17- someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
day 18- plans/dreams/goals you have
day 19- nicknames you have and why you have them
day 20- someone you love
day 21- a picture of something that makes you happy
day 22- what makes you different from everyone else
day 23- something you crave for a lot
day 24- your last five facebook status'
day 25- what I would find in your bag
day 26- what do you think about your friends
day 27- why are you doing this 30 day challenge
day 28- a picture of you from last year and now, how have you changed since then?
day 29- in this past month, what have you learned
day 30- your favorite song

Adorable Pacifier Clips!

A 2nd-time mama-to-be I know, Lindsay, had some time on her hands waiting for her baby girl to arrive (she's due any day!), so she made me these super cute pacifier clips and it only cost me $5!! Her husband dropped them off to me this morning.

Thanks Auntie Anna!

My sorority sister, Anna, and her husband Ben sent us a Snuzzler! It's so cute, and I can't wait to put the baby in it! THANKS ANNA!




Now all it needs is a baby!

Hello my little bean.

You are 31 weeks. Only 6 more weeks until you're full term, and then you can make your grand appearance anytime you want. Just please wait until then. You keep giving your mama contractions, or maybe your mama is doing it. (I'm not exactly listening to what the doctor is saying. Sitting still for so long is just not for me.) But you know all of that. You know my voice. You know when I sing songs just for you. You kick a lot when I sing. :) When I feel you roll to one side or the other, it puts a big smile on my face every time. You get hiccups pretty much every day. Today, you had them twice. It's kind of annoying, but I love every time you move, so it's okay.
I can't wait to see your face so that I can match it to your personality. I just know that you will come out, and I will say, "You are a Rowan". And your Daddy will have to admit that he sees it too. You are so feisty. You don't quit. You are opinionated and stubborn, and you do things in your own time. No one can tell you anything. I'm so excited to meet you, and get to know the little person you are, and the strong woman you will become.

Love always,
Mama

I want cheesecake.

Granola-belly. :)


How far along? 31 weeks, 1 day.

Total Weight Gain: 24 lbs. still. I hope.

Belly button: Still an innie.

Stretch marks: No new ones. Lee very nicely pointed some out yesterday, though. He used to tell me that I was crazy, that there were no stretch marks. He's seen them for himself. He believes me now.

Maternity clothes: My weekend has consisted of sweatpants and t-shirts. I feel best in my undies because my yoga pants are even starting to put pressure under the belly. This does not feel good.

Gender: GIRL!

Movement: She makes me think I'm having contractions sometimes, because the top of my belly gets really hard and uncomfortable, and my back hurts simultaneously. Found out that she's pushing off against the back and pushing her butt up against my belly. You can even feel her lil butt cheeks. I have to admit, it's a very weird sensation. Lee is freaked out. He asked that I not make him feel it again... for the 10th time last night. :)

Symptoms: I'm sleeping like crap!
I was supposed to be relaxing this weekend... i.e. not doing dishes, cooking or standing for long periods of time. Especially picking up heavy things... like my nephew. He's so cute though, I couldn't resist. I did all of those things. I had some painful contractions yesterday, but they were very random. I wasn't too worried. I just have this general blahh feeling. It kind of feels like being hungover... which isn't something I've felt in a while.

Food aversions: Meat. Dips. Cheese.

Food cravings: Yogurt. Pizza. Fruit. Cheesecake. BAD.

What I miss: Sleeping on my belly. Smoking... sadly. I know, I know it's horrible for me. And I'm so glad I quit when I found out that I was pregnant, and I have every intention of staying a quitter. But sometimes when I'm really stressed, I could use a cigarette. Or a beer. But I cannot have either.

What I am looking forward to: Moving to Holland, my last few weeks of being able to leave the house whenever I want without a bunch of baby crap or a sitter, my SORORITY BABY SHOWER this coming Sunday. GET EXCITED!!! Oh, and 3 other showers. :)

Milestones: Being 31 weeks. It hit me this week that I'm really going to have a baby at the end of this. I've kind of gotten used to being pregnant, and just assume that I will be unable to sit/stand/lay/breathe comfortably for the rest of life. But I won't! YAY for the birth! That WILL NOT happen for at least another 6 weeks! GOT IT, BABY!?


Names we're thinking recently: ROWAN for me. Lee has narrowed it down to Bailey (which makes me think of a dog and Bailey's liquor) and Violet. I'm trying. Just not getting there.

31 weeks!

How your baby's growing:
This week, your baby measures over 16 inches long. He weighs about 3.3 pounds (try carrying four navel oranges) and is heading into a growth spurt. He can turn his head from side to side, and his arms, legs, and body are beginning to plump out as needed fat accumulates underneath his skin. He's probably moving a lot, too, so you may have trouble sleeping because your baby's kicks and somersaults keep you up. Take comfort: All this moving is a sign that your baby is active and healthy.

How your life's changing:
Have you noticed the muscles in your uterus tightening now and then? Many women feel these random contractions — called Braxton Hicks contractions — in the second half of pregnancy. Often lasting about 30 seconds, they're irregular, and at this point, they should be infrequent and painless. Frequent contractions, on the other hand — even those that don't hurt — may be a sign of preterm labor. Call your practitioner immediately if you have more than four contractions in an hour or any other signs of preterm labor: an increase in vaginal discharge or a change in the type of discharge (if it becomes watery, mucus-like, or bloody — even if it's pink or just tinged with blood); abdominal pain or menstrual-like cramping; an increase in pressure in the pelvic area; or low back pain, especially if you didn't have it before.

You may have noticed some leaking of colostrum, or "premilk," from your breasts lately. If so, try tucking some nursing pads into your bra to protect your clothes. (And if not, it's certainly nothing to worry about; your breasts are making colostrum all the same, even if you don't see any.) If your current bra is too snug, you might also want to pick up a nursing bra. Choose a nursing bra at least one cup size bigger than you need now. When your milk comes in you'll be grateful for that extra room!

Gathering experience.

We went to go visit my sister, brother-in-law, and my nephew! We hung out for a while and then went to dinner.


He's the sweetest.



Lee, at dinner.


He has to do breathing treatments. :( Poor little guy.


This is how Landon sleeps. It's pretty adorable.

Baby daddy came to visit. :)

It's the first time Lee has come to see me since Christmas. And I was sooo excited to see him! I was actually pretty depressed when he left. I cried. Which is nothing new. But I hate when he misses so much during the majority of the week. Every little kick without him, going to the hospital without him, everything. Sucks. Without him.
BUT I was able to spend lots of time with him this weekend and it was great. And he is weird. Evidence:

No post.

Lee was here all weekend, so I didn't get any posting done. I did get some pictures though, and will be posting tomorrow.
Update: The bebe kept sticking her butt up against my belly. Lee and I were both a bit freaked out at the way my belly moved, and now I know exactly what it's like to have an alien inside of me.

Baby troubles.

Oh my. Well, today started out fine. I went to work, same as normal. Then I started having contractions sometime between 11 and 12. From noon on, I realized that the contractions were getting more regular, they were happening every 10-12 minutes. I had a break at 1:30 and sat down for awhile and drank lots of water. By 2:30, they hadn't stopped and seemed to be getting more intense, so I called my OB. The nurse I talked to said to go straight to the hospital since I was having more than 4 contractions an hour.
So to the hospital I went! I had to do the whole wheelchair-gown-monitors thing once again and decided that I'm getting pretty tired of seeing these people. Especially when it turns out that nothing is wrong, and I leave feeling like an over-worried newbie mom. But I kinda am... so...
I had some STRONG contractions. And they HURT. I'm definitely starting to get a taste of what labor is going to be like. Except that it's going to hurt a lot more. They tested some fluid just in case I was leaking amniotic fluid, but it was negative. It freaked me out when they told me that they were even testing for it.
I called Lee and told him that HIS daughter is causing me problems, and that we're going to have to have a talk with her tonight and tell her that this behavior is unacceptable and it will not be tolerated. Plus, she needs to knock it off and stop giving her mommy so much stress, at least until she's ready to come for real. :)

Curious Friday.

I would like more comments and advice (plus, it makes me feel like I have more friends) :-) so, I'm creating a new installment, curious Friday. I'm going to ask questions, but not just any questions, questions that I would like... no... NEED the answers to. So PLEASE FEEL FREE TO COMMENT! kthanks.


It's obvious that daddy Lee and I are having a very tough time choosing a baby name. I'm still sold on Rowan, but I don't think there's any way I'm going to convince Lee. So, I'm trying to be a good girlfriend and a non-stubborn mommy-to-be and like other names. So, I would like your stories. Tell me how you came to name your child. Was it a struggle or did you just know? Was it a name you had before you got pregnant? Was the name chosen early... like in the first trimester? or did you wait until after the baby was born?
And, do you know any bebe girls named Rowan? I at least need my ammo if I'm going to convince baby-daddy to go with the name.

THANKS!

Topbabyblogs.com

So. I LOVE topbabyblogs.com. It lists a ton of blogs that people not only read, but it's stuff that I'm actually interested in. I would LOVE to add my blog to this website, the only thing is that I'm kind of challenged when it comes to technology. I tried to create a banner yesterday so that I could add it, but I only got a code and couldn't figure out how to get a URL. I'm very frustrated and would LOVE it if some one could help me. THANKS!

My belly. Topview.

I tried to take belly pictures yesterday. I really tried. I put on 4 different outfits and took about 30 pictures. I did not like a single picture. So I took this one from my view. Notice that you can no longer see my feet.



How far along? 30 weeks, 4 days.

Total Weight Gain: 24 lbs. Horrible. I was trying to keep it to 20 lbs for the whole pregnancy. I'm guessing now that it will be 35 lbs for the whole pregnancy by the time she's born. I'm not too disappointed, I mean, it will be more weight to lose after she's born, but I've only gained about 10 lbs in the last 3 months. I consider that to be pretty good because I look like I've doubled in size.

Belly button: It's getting more and more shallow, but it's still an innie.

Stretch marks: No new ones. I had some from when I gained like 20 lbs in a week my junior year of high school. They were barely noticeable before now, but they're starting to get a little darker. I'm also starting to get some around my boobs, which is SUPER lame. I'm putting cocoa butter and oil on like it's my job. But hopefully they'll disappear after the bebe is born.

Maternity clothes: Mostly wearing sweatpants and t-shirts when I'm at home, but definitely maternity jeans/pants and at least a longer shirt if not a maternity shirt when I'm at work or go out. Feet haven't really changed and I haven't noticed much swelling.

Gender: Still expecting a girl, and I hope the ultrasound was right because we have a lot of pink!

Movement: She moves ALL the time. Especially when I'm resting or relaxed. She's been getting the hiccups around once a day. But while I'm at work she's pretty still, or at least I don't notice her as much.

Symptoms: My ligaments are so loose! I feel like I'm getting more and more flexible!
I don't sleep well anymore. I wake up at least 3 times during the night, and even when I sleep it's not all that restful because of all the terrible dreams I have like birthing a litter of kittens.
I'm still having contractions on and off, but they don't really hurt. They are just very strange I think. Now that my belly and baby are both growing, the muscles under my ribs are always sore. Mostly on the right side.

Food aversions: Meat. But not hamburgers.

Food cravings: Pop :(, jalapeno burgers, anything anyone mentions. I want it all. I could probably eat a huge bowl of yogurt.

What I miss: Being able to sit down and stand up without making little grunting noises. Sleeping on my belly. Outdoor winter activities. Walking without worrying that I'm going to kill my baby because I fell. BEER.

What I am looking forward to: Getting a massage *hopefully*, moving to holland, getting this baby OUT! And meeting my sweet little girl for the first time.

Milestones: Being almost 31 weeks preggers! I can't wait until I'm full term and can stop worrying about her coming too early.

Names we're thinking recently: ROWAN (still being hopeful that Lee will come around), Bailey, Brenna, Violet, Eliza, Elsie, Sasha.

My spaghetti plate :)

My Mom makes fun of the "spaghetti plate" I made when I was 4. She thinks it's ugly. But she kept it for the last 18 years, so I guess that says something. You see, I traced my hand on it, but then I messed up, so I made spaghetti on it instead. When I was little, I ate off it every time we had spaghetti. Today, I ate pizza off it. :)

New idea on a diaper cake.

Mandy, who works with my mom gave me this for the baby! There was all sorts of cute stuff, blanket, washcloths, socks, etc. I love it! And I thought I would post it because it's so cute. :)

Life sucks sometimes.

A friend of a friend passed away recently. She was a mama, and was in the hospital giving birth to her son when your Daddy and I were there with you on Thursday after I fell outside. Her son was born at 9:00 that night while we were there, listening to your hiccups and trying to get the contractions to stop. This mommy didn't get better, though. She was in a lot of pain. I'm not sure why she died, I don't think the doctors know either. But I think her uterus stopped receiving blood. All her organs started to fail, and she passed away 5 days after her son was born. I hope she is at peace and no longer in pain and her son will grow up knowing how much she loved and wanted him.
This makes me so scared! Not that this will happen to me, necessarily, but that somehow I will leave you alone to fend for yourself. I want to be there with you. I want to teach you. And I want to love you until I can't anymore.
I'm not really worried. Your mommy will be there. There's just that small glimmer of fear every time you give me sharp pains or when you kick me in the ribs. So, stop worrying your mommy please, okay? Thanks. <3

Creative solutions.

I have pretty decent skin. More often than not, I've gotten comments that I'm "glowing" and I've "never looked better" now that I'm pregnant. Which is a bit strange, I think. I look better when I look like I'm smuggling a beach ball than before I was pregnant? Strange. However, I can admit that my skin is pretty decent, and has served me well thus far in life. I never had (bad) acne as a teenager. My only complaints have been that my skin is dry around my nose from time to time. Nothing to complain about, I know. But since getting pregnant, my skin is often unpredictable. I cry at least once a day so I'm often splotchy. My hormones are whack, so oil production is on overdrive. As a result, I've had more problems with my skin in the past 8 months than I have my entire life. Oh yeah, it's super fun.
Now, to take care of this acne, it's hard to determine what to do. I can't use any kind of acne cream or wash, so this is my new regime: garnier make-up remover and cleansing towelettes, St. Ives Fresh skin collagen-elastin facial moisturizer, toothpaste, and A & D Diaper rash ointment. Yes, yes. Strange, I know. The garnier towelettes are awesome for traveling and at night when I don't want to dry out my skin, but I need to take off make-up and leave my skin feeling like it can breathe. (If I don't take off the make-up, I break out like mad.)
The St. Ives moisturizer is light and smells good without having a lot of fragrance, and I can use it every day. I even use it on my belly because it really stops my skin from itching as it's stretching.
Toothpaste. Took you by surprise didn't I? Well, since I can't use any normal acne creams, I use toothpaste. I put some on a blemish before going to bed, and I wake up and it's all dried out. When I get a blemish, it lasts for about two weeks, and all except the first couple of days are just a dry sore.
That's where the A&D ointment comes in. It's light enough to not make me break out even more, and heavy enough to stay on my skin and heal the blemish.
Weird, I know. But it works really well for me! :)


The big thing I'm dealing with on a day-to-day basis are stretch marks. I have a few little ones around my belly button (which has yet to pop) that are small and not very dark, so I'm hoping they will fade after baby and my skin will return to normal. I always put on a combination of cocoa butter, oil, and lotion every morning when I wake up and right before I go to bed. As well as every time I get all itchy. It's working pretty well so far, and hopefully it keeps the stretch marks at bay!

Pregnancy Comebacks.

"You should NOT be drinking caffeine." (or doing, eating, touching, etc. something else that's none of their damn business).

* Oh my gosh, Th...ank YOU! Are you SURE? I had NO idea. My doctor said it was fine, thank god you are here to save me from-what is it exactly the caffeine will do?
* The Voices say I can have caffeine. I don't fuck with the Voices.
* Decaf make PREGNANT HULK SMASH!!!!!!!!
* You shouldn't be wearing those jeans (etc.) but I didn't bring that to your attention.
* This is the best I can do since kicking the methamphetamine habit.
* It's not caffeine. It's doctor prescribed laxative tea because this pregnancy is making me so constipated I have hemorrhoids. Oh, sorry, was that too much information?
* You're right, tequila is better.
* Fuck off.

Baby names

I'm having a very difficult time with these baby names. I somehow feel it would be easier with a boy. I don't know why. Maybe because Lee and I agree on more similar boy's names, but as for girl's names, we are pretty much at opposite sides of the spectrum.
I enjoy more masculine girl's names... Payton, Kennedy, Logan. etc. He does not. He likes Violet, Scarlett, and Bailey.
Which, I guess Bailey is more neutral... and I'm happy about that. But to me, she's still Rowan. I've had dreams about having a baby girl named Rowan since May. I didn't get preggers until June. Those dreams were a big part of why I thought we were having a girl. I mean, I did have a 50% chance of getting it right. But it was an instinct. And it was right.
I became a mommy within the first month of finding out that I was pregnant. I've gotten to know this little girl who lives inside me. To me, she is a Rowan. Now I just have to convince Lee. :)

Average of 18 months for mothers to feel "Normal" again.

As the dirty diapers pile up and a good night's sleep seems a distant memory, it is easy for a new mother to think life will never be the same again.

But it will happen - even if it does take an average of 18 months, according to a poll of thousands of ­British women.

During that one and a half year period, however, sleepless nights, loss of independence and weight worries all contribute to a crisis of confidence.

Six out of ten claimed their confidence took a hit when they realized their old clothes didn’t fit.

And a quarter of the 3,000 women said they felt they were competing with other mothers – including celebrities – to lose weight quickly after birth.

Unsurprisingly, 64 per cent of those polled for fashion website A Beautiful Mummy claimed a lack of routine in the early months meant they struggled to make it through the day.

Around a third blamed breastfeeding for limiting what they could wear and 39 per cent felt unattractive in every outfit they put on.

Others struggled to adjust to the loss of "me time," with 63 per cent saying they let themselves in terms of their hair, make-up or clothes.

Siobhan Freegard, of the Netmums parenting advice website, said that while 18 months might be the average figure, many women will take longer.

"New mothers go through phases," she said. "The first is the dressing-gown phase. Then you get to the phase where you have managed clean hair. Clean hair and make-up is another phase... But this doesn’t mean you are not happy during that time," she stressed. "It just means you have different priorities."

The change in priorities also meant that nine in ten new mothers polled said work no longer seemed as important after they gave birth, and 79 per cent didn’t want to leave their baby to go back. Many also feared they would no longer excel in their job.

For those who did take the plunge, it tended to take at least ten months to feel part of the gang again when returning to work after maternity leave.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1346105/New-mothers-18-months-feel-attractive-having-baby.html?ito=feeds-newsxml

Today.

I'm feeling... eh. I've been getting sharp pains above my pelvis on the left side, as well as continued contractions (Which I'm guessing are braxton-hicks because they're irregular and they don't hurt. They're just very uncomfortable.) Plus some pack cramps. Oh, and she's decided to burrow her feet under my ribs on the left side. Enough complaining from me, it's just been a very uncomfortable day. The worst part is that it's only going to become more uncomfortable.
She does have the hiccups right now, which just continues to get more and more adorable. :)
I have also realized that I have 4-5 baby showers in the next month. Which is pretty awesome. I'm going to feel so much better after the baby showers... like it's finally okay for her to arrive because everything is taken care of. Lee and I will also hopefully have a BRAND-SPANKIN'-NEW apartment most likely the first week in February. YAY! Because I need to nest. Badly. I've been having quite the urge to do so.

Baby resolutions.

I've decided not to make resolutions for the year 2011. Mostly just because I'm being conscious about the fact that having a baby changes things; I may not want the same things for the remainder of the year after the baby comes, and my priorities may change. So I've decided to make before and after baby resolutions. The after-baby resolutions will come, obviously, after she's born. Sometime. Once I'm healed and happy and am not covered in a mixture of breast milk, poop, and baby vomit. Gross.

Pre-baby resolutions:

1. Make at least 5 things for the baby.
These may include, but are not limited to, a cute hat, a sweater, a blanket (even though I already have 3 and I'm sure to get a few more at the baby showers), photos/paintings/prints of some kind for the nursery, and stuffed/wood baby toys. These things MUST NOT BE PINK. I'm so sick of pink and other gender-related colors. My child is biologically a female, but that does not mean that she will like or has to like pink. She can like whatever color she wants.

2. Blog more.
I barely have any pictures of myself... none I think... actually. Most of my posts consist of weekly updates created by another website, and that is just unacceptable. I would like to create a blogging schedule... for instance that I have to make at least one post a day... but we'll see. Post-baby = no promises.

3. Decorate a nursery.
Mentally, I am going through a nesting phase. Unfortunately, I have no such place to do so. I think literally the second Lee and I get a place is when the nesting will take place. I'm already going through things mentally... the colors, patterns, and theme I want to use... but I haven't committed to anything. yet.

4. Get my baby shower Thank yous out in a reasonable time.
I have a horrible time with deadlines. For my high school open house, I literally did only half of my thank yous. I'm very thankful! Just not very organized. My goal is to get all thank yous out no later than a week after each shower. It's apart of my "Being a responsible mommy" campaign.

That's all for now. Hopefully more to come.

30 weeks

How your baby's growing:
Your baby's about 15.7 inches long now, and she weighs almost 3 pounds (like a head of cabbage). A pint and a half of amniotic fluid surrounds her, but that volume will decrease as she gets bigger and takes up more room in your uterus. Her eyesight continues to develop, though it's not very keen; even after she's born, she'll keep her eyes closed for a good part of the day. When she does open them, she'll respond to changes in light but will have 20/400 vision — which means she can only make out objects a few inches from her face. (Normal adult vision is 20/20.)

How your life's changing:
You may be feeling a little tired these days, especially if you're having trouble sleeping. You might also feel clumsier than normal, which is perfectly understandable. Not only are you heavier, but the concentration of weight in your pregnant belly causes a shift in your center of gravity. Plus, thanks to hormonal changes, your ligaments are more lax, so your joints are looser, which may also contribute to your balance being a bit off. Also, this relaxation of your ligaments can actually cause your feet to spread permanently, so you may have to invest in some new shoes in a bigger size.

Remember those mood swings you had earlier in pregnancy? The combination of uncomfortable symptoms and hormonal changes can result in a return of those emotional ups and downs. It's normal to worry about what your labor will be like or whether you'll be a good parent. But if you can't shake the blues or feel increasingly irritable or agitated, talk to your doctor or midwife. You may be among the 1 in 10 expectant women who battle depression during pregnancy. Also let your caregiver know if you're frequently nervous or anxious.

It's a conspiracy.

I feel like I find out every day that someone else is pregnant. We're at the start of another baby-boom generation, I think. I follow this blog: http://pregnancy-blog.parentingweekly.com/. It has some great articles, plus all of the pop-culture pregnancy gossip you could ever want. I've also been surprised to find out just how many women are doing pregnancy later and later in their lives. It seems that I'm either hearing of late teen to early twenty moms-to-be and late thirty to late forties. I guess being in the middle is white noise now.

Ps- I want a boy. You know, after this little girl is born. Far after. Like 5-6 years. But it's weird that I'm even thinking that. I don't want another one for A. LONG. TIME. I just know that I don't want to be done after one baby. One thing at a time, Laura. One thing at a time. Let's raise this one first, and find out how that goes. :)

29 weeks.

How your baby's growing:
Your baby now weighs about 2 1/2 pounds (like a butternut squash) and is a tad over 15 inches long from head to heel. His muscles and lungs are continuing to mature, and his head is growing bigger to make room for his developing brain. To meet his increasing nutritional demands, you'll need plenty of protein, vitamins C, folic acid, and iron. And because his bones are soaking up lots of calcium, be sure to drink your milk (or find another good source of calcium, such as cheese, yogurt, or enriched orange juice). This trimester, about 250 milligrams of calcium are deposited in your baby's hardening skeleton each day.

How your life's changing:
Your baby's very active now. Your healthcare provider may ask you to spend some time each day counting kicks and will give you specific instructions on how to do this. Let your provider know if you ever notice that your baby is becoming less active. You may need a nonstress test or biophysical profile to check on your baby's condition.

Some old friends — heartburn and constipation — may take center stage now. The pregnancy hormone progesterone relaxes smooth muscle tissue throughout your body, including your gastrointestinal tract. This relaxation, coupled with the crowding in your abdomen, slows digestion. Sluggish digestion can cause gas and heartburn — especially after a big meal — and contribute to constipation.

Your growing uterus may also be contributing to hemorrhoids. These swollen blood vessels in your rectal area are common during pregnancy. Fortunately, they usually clear up in the weeks after giving birth.

If they're itchy or painful, try soaking in a sitz bath or applying cold compresses medicated with witch hazel to the affected area. Avoid sitting or standing for long stretches. Talk with your provider before using any over-the-counter remedies during pregnancy, and let your provider know if you have any rectal bleeding. To prevent constipation, eat a high-fiber diet, drink plenty of water, and get some regular exercise.

Some women get something called "supine hypotensive syndrome" during pregnancy. This happens when lying flat on your back causes a change in heart rate and blood pressure that makes you feel dizzy until you change position. You might notice that you feel lightheaded if you stand up too quickly, too. To avoid "the spins," lie on your side rather than your back, and move slowly as you go from lying down to sitting and then standing.

A new year.

It's 2011. This is the year I become a Mommy. :) I'm vowing to be much more responsible, in many ways. I want to be someone that my daughter can look up to and be proud of. I'll embarrass her, I'm sure, but that's all a part of doing a good job. :) I want to be healthy. I'm going to make this final trimester a very healthy one. Thus far, I've been giving into pretty much every craving, including caffeine... which makes me feel pretty guilty. I need to be more mentally healthy. I've been VERY stressed out over money, the future, her name, my Mom's cancer, my living situation... etc. Much crying has taken place, good and bad. But I can't do it anymore. I can't even begin to imagine the damage it could be doing to my little girl. Omg. I'm stressing out about stressing out too much. I want to have a healthier relationship with Lee. Things have been pretty much wonderful lately, but they could be better.
This year needs to be better. It needs to be a year in which I listen to other people, instead of plowing ahead blindly like I usually do. I need to ask for help when I need it. And I need to not learn things the hard way. Which is something else I am used to. This year may be harder because I'm facing new challenges, but it WILL be easier. This WILL be the best year of my life so far.
How can it not be? I get to meet my daughter. :)

The big stuff has been purchased!

I mentioned in a previous post that my mom and I found a travel system for really cheap one day at Meijer. It's a Graco travel system in the Broadstreet pattern. It's blue, green, and brown and SUPER cute! I also like that it's pretty gender neutral. There was some assembly required, but my sister's boyfriend and my Mom helped with it.



I've also been trying to find a pack n' play for a decent/cheap price. But they're so expensive. The Carter's one I was looking at in Babies R' Us was $149. I was hoping to find something a bit cheaper than that, but still with a changing table and a bassinet. And a cute pattern wouldn't hurt either. Well, last week I was killing time by walking around Meijer in Holland. I thought I would take a walk down the baby aisle and see if the travel system came down in price. Well, I didn't find the travel system, but I did find the matching Pack n' Play for.... 50% OFF!!!!!!
That's right! $75!!!!! I think that's just a bit better than $150. :)



This thing is like the luxury car of Play yards. It has a waterproof changing table, a little organizer thing that holds diapers and baby wipes, a "newborn napper"... which is kind of like a bouncy seat that doesn't bounce... but it has nature sounds, music, a light show, and vibration. My baby is going to be so comfy. :) It also has a bassinet that can be removed for the use of the whole inside of the play yard. Plus, it's super easy to fold up. Getting it back in the carrying case and setting it up is a bit more difficult, but I've set it up and tore it down twice, so it's starting to get a little easier.
I'm just very relieved and excited to get the bigger, more expensive items out of the way. Now we just need lots and lots of diapers. :)

28 weeks. 7 months!

Finally into the third trimester!

How your baby's growing:
By this week, your baby weighs two and a quarter pounds (like a Chinese cabbage) and measures 14.8 inches from the top of her head to her heels. She can blink her eyes, which now sport lashes. With her eyesight developing, she may be able to see the light that filters in through your womb. She's also developing billions of neurons in her brain and adding more body fat in preparation for life in the outside world.

How your life's changing:
You're in the home stretch! The third and final trimester starts this week. If you're like most women, you'll gain about 11 pounds this trimester.

At this point, you'll likely visit your doctor or midwife every two weeks. Then, at 36 weeks, you'll switch to weekly visits. Depending on your risk factors, your practitioner may recommend repeating blood tests for HIV and syphilis now, as well as doing cultures for chlamydia and gonorrhea, to be certain of your status before delivery. Also, if your glucose screening test result was high and you haven't yet had follow-up testing, you'll soon be given the 3-hour glucose tolerance test. And if the blood work done at your first prenatal visit showed that you're Rh negative, you'll get an injection of Rh immunoglobulin to prevent your body from developing antibodies that could attack your baby's blood. (If your baby is Rh positive, you'll receive another shot of Rh immunoglobulin after you give birth.)

Around this time, some women feel an unpleasant "creepy-crawly" sensation in their lower legs and an irresistible urge to move them while trying to relax or sleep. If this sensation is at least temporarily relieved when you move, you may have what's known as restless legs syndrome (RLS). No one knows for sure what causes RLS, but it's relatively common among expectant mothers. Try stretching or massaging your legs, and cut down on caffeine, which can make the symptoms worse. Ask your caregiver if you should try iron supplements, which can sometimes relieve RLS.