day 1- recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself

I think this is one of the only recent pictures of myself. I've hated having the camera turned on me for the last few months. Or rather, I dislike the outcome. Sometimes I'll take 30+ pictures of myself... trying to find a suitable one. But I'm my own worst critic, so this can become difficult. I'm just very sad that I will have almost no pictures of me during my whole pregnancy. :( Stupid self-image problems.
Anyways, I like this picture because it's a cute one of baby-daddy and I from new years... which wasn't too long ago.

Now for the facts...
1. I was born completely bald. I'm talking cabbage-patch-doll style. I had very slight peach fuzz for the first 3 1/2-4 years before I got real hair. Sad. Baby-daddy was born with so much hair that they had to part it for his hospital picture. So we'll see what the bean gets. :)

2. When I can deliver a good (by my standards) and informational blog post, I feel like I accomplished something. Kind of like finishing my homework and knowing it was all done right.

3. I love shopping. Usually, I don't even buy anything. Or I'll buy something on clearance for under $5. I have actually gone shopping for hours, and will half-fill a cart, then will talk myself down on why I don't need anything that I picked up, and I will walk out of the store empty-handed (after returning everything to it's rightful place). I think it makes me feel like I have some sort of control. Oh! And about 50% of the time after I buy something, I'll return it to the store after convincing myself that I didn't need to buy it. Probably the reason I edit my baby registry every other day.

4. Have a complicated family-life. I am the second-oldest of four girls. They are 26, 19, and 18. My older sister and I are also adopted, but not related. My two younger sisters are my adoptive parents', who got pregnant after 10 years of being told they couldn't have children. I am in contact with my birth family and have a half-sister and a half-brother. My adoptive parents are divorced. My dad lives 2 hours north, and my birth family lives 2 1/2 hours south. It's easier to sort out when you know them. :)

5. I'm a very paranoid person. I think of every outcome for every situation in a feeble attempt to never be taken off-guard. I need to stop doing this BEFORE going into labor. I've already read far too many birth stories and the paranoia is definitely kicking in. (I just don't see how a baby can fit through there...)

6. I've never broken a bone. Unless you count the baby-tooth that broke when I was kicked in the face by my horse. I'm not sure it counts... it was a tooth after all. Oh, and it was at age 16. I have no idea why I still had baby teeth.

7. I love my dog, Lola, as if she were my first born. I will most likely have to give her up very very soon. :( Baby daddy and I are moving into a new place in the next couple of weeks. We're down to two places, one allows pets and one does not. Lee is leaning towards the place that does not allow pets. Very, very sad day for me is coming soon. I'm not far from tears just thinking about it. I don't want to give up my baby. :(

8. I met baby-daddy in a bar. :) He somehow convinced me to kiss him before I knew that his first name was Lee. Sad, I know. And now we're crazy in love and about to have a bebe. :)

9. I love caffeine. SO much. I still drink coffee regularly, but before I got pregnant, I was averaging 6-8 cups a day. Now it's 1-2. I would go to Starbucks every day if I could. And I still drink pop. Regular, diet, caffeinated, decaffeinated. Anything really. It's a problem. I hope to be rid of my addiction soon. I gave up a lot when I got pregnant, so it's kind of the last thing...

10. I feel like escalators are a difficult experience for me. Moving sidewalks as well. I have to concentrate when getting on or off one. Like if I don't pay attention, my shoelace will get stuck, or the bottom of my jeans. It's a very irrational fear.

11. I'm never not focused on something. Even if I'm "relaxing", I'm reading a book, cleaning, watching tv, blogging, writing, painting, thinking, planning, organizing. and so it goes. It's really difficult for me to clear my mind and relax 99.9% of the time.

12. Recently I've really enjoyed taking showers. I mean, I always like showers, but I'm taking like 2 a day recently. Part of it has to do with the fact that, since I've been pregnant, I always feel sweaty and gross. But also because I'm cold most of the time. (seems like an oxymoron, I know. but that's pregnancy hormones for you.) Actually, my feet and hands are always too cold, but my face and the rest of me are too warm. It makes sleeping quite interesting. I've always had poor circulation, and I hate socks. So that is a part of it also. But then I just get in the shower, and I feel wonderful. :)

13. I love when I can make people laugh. Some people think I'm funny. But it's a daily goal of mine to make Lee laugh. He makes me laugh all of the time. ALL of the time. When we were in the hospital, I had to ask him to stop talking because he was making me laugh too much and it hurt my belly. So when I can make him laugh, not just a chuckle or something, a real, gut-wrenching laugh, I feel like I've impressed him a little. Like he says to himself, "This is why I love her". And it makes me feel worthy of him, even for only a moment. :)

14. A secret I haven't told anyone yet: If I could have a do-over, or start again, I would go back to school and either be a midwife or an OB. Since being pregnant, I've done a ton of research and read lots of stories. I would love to help women have wonderful birth experiences. This may all change after I give birth myself, but it's a nice thought.

15. I hate being alone. I think I need to learn to be my own best friend. I don't even need to be in the same room as someone, but feeling another presence in the house is comforting. I think this is a big part of the reason that I miss my college town so much. All of my friends are there. Here, all I do is spend a very limited amount of time with my family (they're all very busy), or else I'm at work. I'm very much a people person. It's a big reason of why I can't wait for the bean to arrive. It's another person, even if she can't talk to me for awhile. She is someone that I'll be able to focus all of my love and attention into. I think baby daddy is going to feel a bit left out after she's born. :)


The end.