day 29- in this past month, what have you learned

Oh my. The whole past month! I've learned soo much. Every day that comes in this pregnancy, I learn more about myself, more about being a mommy, more about my baby, and more about how to be patient. Especially in the last month. I'm learning how to stand up for myself, how to compromise, and how to be the best domestic partner I can be to BD. I've learned what matters, and what doesn't. I've learned who my friends are, and who blows me off because I can't go drink with them at the bar. I've connected to my family on a whole other level.
Mostly, I've learned that thinking about what's best for my daughter, is what's best for me. :)

day 28- a picture of you from last year and now, how have you changed since then?

My sorority sisters and I one year ago. I can't believe the physical change in myself, much less in my life. A year ago, I was ready to graduate college. I was doing well in school. I had a new, but amazing boyfriend. I was ready to begin a full-time job and work my way up in a company. I was the president of my sorority, and was BUSY. I went to the bar a few times a week and drank very socially. (What can I say, I was in college...).


Here is me at my baby shower on Saturday with my birth mom. I've only gained about 25 pounds, but it looks like I've gained 60. I can especially see in the picture how big my face is... gross. It looks like I'm having twins... so weird. I'm ready to become a Mommy. I haven't partied in a long, long time. Sometimes, I even have a hard time connecting to BD and friends because my priorities have changed so much. However, I am a much stronger person. I stand up for myself, and no one will push me around.
I'm not exactly where I thought I would be a year ago. Getting pregnant definitely threw me for a loop, but I have to say it's the best and most important thing that's happened to me my whole life. And I can't wait to begin my new life, with a whole new set of priorities, as a mother.

day 27- why are you doing this 30 day challenge

One of my pre-baby resolutions was to blog more. Other than getting my thank-yous out on time, it's the only one I've really followed.
There have been a number of times that I don't feel like blogging (or think I don't) until I sit down to write my daily challenge posts, and then a lot more ends up coming out. I have this challenge to thank for that success, and I will probably try to find another one when this one is finished. Thanks for reading!

day 26- what do you think about your friends

My friends can be pretty great. My best friend is Rachel, and we joke that she's the father of my baby. She went to the hospital with me two weeks ago, when they thought I was leaking amniotic fluid, and was so adorable cute about hearing the bean's heart beat for the first time. She also has said that the baby will pretty much always be known as "little bean", and I'm ok with that. I love her. She's great. :)

A vote!??? Pretty please?

day 25- what I would find in your bag

My bag... Has a lot of crap in it. I'll post a picture later.

1. Hand sanitizer
2. Wallet
3. keys
4. 4 tubes of chapstick
5. Digital camera
6. trash, receipts, etc.
7. Planner

Pretty lame, I know.

day 24- your last five facebook status'

1. "Laura: It is gorgeous outside!"
2. "Laura is very very against making a facebook for your under 5 children. Or any children. WTF."
3. "Laura: and the back pain returns!!!!"
4. "Laura: why can't one thing just be easy? Why?"
5. "Laura: We are who we are because of the obstacles we face in life. Certain situations try to challenge our strength, but the true fighters show that there is no challenge other than succeeding. Day 1 of chemo. Praying♥"

Wow. I'm creative.

Vote!? Pretty please?

day 23- something you crave for a lot

I'm not sure that's entirely grammatically correct. "crave for a lot"....? Well, lately it's been food. I've kept you pretty updated about that. As far as other things go... physical contact. I had some pretty bad back/belly/nerve pain last night, along with contractions, and all I wanted was physical contact from BD. Hugging me, rubbing my back, kissing my forehead, stroking my hair, putting pressure on my hips... it all helped me deal with the pain. The closer and closer I get to the end of the pregnancy, the more I want to be held and feel loved. I want to be cuddled. I want hugs to last forever. I'm wearing Lee's sweatshirt right now because I'm missing him while he's at work. I'm so damn clingy. It needs to stop. But it's so... comfortable. :)

day 22- what makes you different from everyone else

I find this really... difficult. I'm pregnant... but it seems that everyone is these days. I'm not really sure what sets me apart from other people... is there anything that sets me apart?

I guess, compared to the typical person, this is where I believe my attributes are above and beyond:

-I'm a midget really short
-My butt has it's own zip code is very large... and not because I'm pregnant.
-I'm giving. To the point that it hurts me rather than helps anyone else.
-I'm extremely paranoid. crazy. I think something is constantly wrong. With me. With the baby. With my car. With Lola. With life. paranoid.
-I'm crazy emotional. (I hope just because I'm preggo.)

Other than that, I'm pretty normal. I don't have any talents that are special. Meh. I mean... I'm growing a human. That's more than 50% of the population can do. :)

day 21- a picture of something that makes you happy

LOLA! She makes me happy.

Sorry. My blog has been abandoned this week. It felt good. And guilty at the same time.

day 20- someone you love

What a perfect post for Valentine's Day!

Normally, I hate Valentine's Day. I think it's stupid. If you're in love, I don't think you need a day to show it. And if you're not, it just makes you feel so much more miserable. I don't like getting flowers (when they die, it's depressing). But I told BD that if he ever gets me flowers, I would much rather get them any other day of the year.

So today, we both work and I'll see him just before midnight. We talked about renting a movie, but that usually starts an argument because we don't (in any way) enjoy the same movies. So, anyways. We'll probably hang out with some friends, or head to the bar for an hour, where I can drink water. How fun. :)

Anyways, he is the love of my life, there's no doubt about that. No matter what happens, we always find our way back to each other. We can fight and say mean things, and for some reason, we're still drawn together like magnets. Hopefully someday, it will get easier, and we will figure things out. But for now, as long as we can survive it will be enough. :)

day 19- nicknames you have and why you have them

Laura Lee... I mean, it's my name. It's what my Mom, Grandma, and Aunts call me most of the time.
Laurs... What my Mom and sisters use.
Sweet Pea... What my Dad calls me.
La or Lala... My niece and my sorority sisters use these.
Larualai... What I was called by most in high school.
Lil mama... randomly used.

day 18- plans/dreams/goals you have

Missed another day due to Lee's family baby shower. It was sooo great! More on that later.
Besides the pre-baby resolutions (which I am totally doing horrible on), my main goals and dreams are to be a fantastic mother and have a healthy relationship. Not in the mood for blogging today. :/

day 17- someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why

This may sound really lame... because it is. But I would switch lives with Lee. Sometimes I feel like we argue because we don't understand each other. Where we're coming from, why we think the way we do, as well as many other aspects. I feel like if I was able to literally be in his shoes, I would understand him more. Granted, that's who I am. I want to make our relationship better. Always. I want to understand. I want to have a conversation without fighting. If you ask him the same question, it would probably be something like Buddha. Or some rock star. Or Hugh Hefner. But that's why we're different.

day 16- another picture of yourself

ANOTHER PICTURE!? Ok, well here is one of my favorite pictures of myself. Kallie took it when we did an "America's Next Top Model" photo shoot by the lake one June. Enjoy.

day 15- put your ipod on shuffle: first 10 songs that play

Sorry for the absence. It's only been a day... but seeing as I usually make 2 or 3 posts in a 24 hour period, it's strange to me to miss a day. I have an addiction. It's a problem.

So... as for yesterday today's post... hmm my ipod? I don't actually own an ipod. I don't have itunes. I have borrowed my little sister's old ipod so that I can listen to my hypnobabies while I'm not at home, so I guess the only songs I have are hypnobabies. :/ Sorry to be so lame!

Day 14- A picture of you and your family

My family cannot be explained in just one picture... so I tried to include everyone in several pictures, and there are still some members missing... but I did my best. My family is complicated, in case you didn't know.




My adoptive Mom and sisters. The people I spent the most time growing up with.




My adoptive daddy and I the day I was adopted.




My birth family, Mama and brother.




Baby-Daddy and I.




Sorority. <3




My first-born, Lola.

day 13- a letter to someone

Hello my baby girl,

I am getting so ready to meet you. Currently, you have the hiccups for the third time today, and it's only 12:30. You're running out of room in my belly, so you're not really kicking any more. You do stick out your butt quite often, which is usually quite adorable, but also very strange feeling for me. Your daddy and I went out for dinner last night for the first half of the super bowl (the packers won by the way... booo!), and your Daddy kept talking and talking and talking. :) He can talk A LOT. All the while I was having some very painful contractions. I was trying not to let him know, because he can freak out a little if he thinks there's a problem. We came back home and watched the second half with my Mama. I don't remember much of it, though. I was in a lot of pain. So much that I teared up a bit, and couldn't talk at times. But luckily, things settled down and we didn't have to go to the hospital.
I had a lot of time to think about things, as I needed to distract myself from the pain. I'm really hoping that the hypnobabies I've been doing works when it's time for you to make your appearance. I definitely don't want to be in pain, but mostly, I want to make your birthday a wonderful experience. I want to be calm, and let my body do exactly what it knows how to do to bring you into the world.
I'm very anxious about being a good mommy for you. I'm trying to convince myself that I will be, but it still worries me. I want to be able to give you everything you need, and be there for you always.
I can't wait to meet you, but it does need to wait another 4 weeks or so. Okay?

I love you to the moon and back.

-Your mommy.

day 12- how you found out about blogger and why you have one

I'm not quite sure how I found out about Blogger... I think I just googled "blogging". I had just started writing.. in a notebook. But then I decided that I didn't just want my personal thoughts laying around for anyone to read, so I had them on blogger. Protected so that only I could see them. A friend convinced me that I should have them public so that I could get feedback. So, fromlaurawithhope.blogspot.com was born. It is now protected once again because I have been writing many things recently that I don't want to share with anyone. I've had a couple of other blogs since, but I've really enjoyed blogger. Everything is fairly easy to set-up and change, and it's easy to connect with other bloggers. I like it. :)

day 11- another picture of you and your friends

Sam, Rachel and I spending some time with Lola at the beach. <3

day 10- songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, hyped, mad

Well, I don't really listen to songs when I'm sad, bored, hyped or mad. Usually, I listen to music when I'm happy! :) It doesn't cross my mind otherwise. I really love Regina Spektor, Lily Allen, Cat Power, Train, and Michael Buble.



(Oh, hello Michael. What's that? You love me? Aww... I love you too. Yes, I will marry you.)

:-)