Mommy Confessions

1. I enjoy grocery shopping on my own way too much. It's so nice to just wander without a baby to be concerned about and having to hurry before she gets bored. I could grocery shop for hours. It's like going to the spa.

2. I wore my maternity jeans for far too long after giving birth. They're just so comfy. I don't feel bad about it. It was like wearing sweatpants. It almost made me buy pajama jeans.

3. I'm getting really bored with a lot of Clara's books. She has a bajillion paper books, but only like 10-15 board books. She rips the paper out of the paper books, so we have to stick to the board books. We read through them all a few times a day. I'm getting so bored of them. I can't wait until we can move on to more books.

4. I dread the day that my big sis reminds me is coming eventually... the day I can't use the bathroom in peace without a toddler coming in to "help" me.

5. I feed Clara organic and all-natural food. It kills me when she eats something and I don't know the ingredients. I know, I know, someday I probably won't care so much. I'm pretty sure I'm so controlling about it because I feel guilty for having to quit breastfeeding after only 5 months. It was depressing. I felt like a failure. I just want her to get the best nutrition since I couldn't give it to her via breast milk.

6. I really enjoy Clara's naps... almost too much. I look forward to them every day. I can get so much done while she's sleeping. I feel like I can't leave her side when she's awake, and it takes me 5 times as long to get it done.

7. Clara loves my mom more than me and it makes me really jealous. The second my mom walks in, Clara pushes away from me to get to her. She lights up, and gets super excited when she sees her. When I pick her up from daycare, she smiles, but that's about it. With my mom, she tracks her around the room. She won't take her eyes off her. It breaks my heart.

8. When Clara's Dad and I were together, I would sometimes turn the baby monitor up and sit it next to him when I heard Clara start to stir just so I could sleep in. It worked like 5% of the time. He's a heavy sleeper.

9. When Clara is sick, it's terrible and sad. But it's kind of awesome. I get the BEST cuddles all day. It's a guilty pleasure.

10. I'm terrified that Clara will hate me someday. I'm also scared that she'll look back someday when she has kids and think  I was a terrible mother.