5 months old. Already?

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Things are wonderful with us right now. Clara is thriving. She's growing so fast. I can't believe my little bundle of joy is going to be 5 months old tomorrow! She's so smart. She takes in everything around her and decides things for herself. When she meets a new person, she studies them. Decides if she likes them. Sometimes she doesn't.
In other news, I'm still desperately looking for a job. I amped up my resume, apply to multiple jobs everyday. I'm on several sites like Monster. There are several places that I've put at least an app a week in. Nothing. I'm getting really desperate. :(
I'm thankful that thus far, Clara has been raised by me instead of by a daycare. Granted, it's led to some pretty interesting attachment scenarios. She likes for me to hold her all of the time, unless she's immersed in her play, which is thankfully becoming more abundant as she develops more. I'm really excited for the stage when she can sit on her own and play, but can't crawl yet. That will be exciting. And it's coming up soon!
I feel really lame in saying that I've enjoyed every stage thus far. I mean, the newborn stage wasn't that great. I was very new, so I was terrified to even lay her down in her crib. That she would somehow find a way to suffocate, aspirate, or something. I didn't want anyone else to hold her. I was still going through complications from my c-section, and breastfeeding came with it's difficulties. But I loved that she slept so much. I loved that all she wanted was to snuggle with me. I loved that I didn't have to deal with bottles or formula, or baby food. Things were simpler. All I needed were my boobs, the pack n' play, and a stack of diapers and wipes. Now I have all of this stuff to lug from room to room, and place to place.
I will never. Ever. Forget the day that she smiled for real; not because of gas, but because she was happy. My mom says she smiles 1000+ times a day, and I wouldn't doubt it. It was so cool when she could hold a toy, and play with her hands. She finally had means of entertaining herself.
Then came the giggles. They're still a bit far between, and I swear the same thing never works twice to make her laugh. I always make her laugh on accident. Something that didn't work previously to bring the giggles out, works now, and vice versa. And the discovery of the feet. That was a BIG step that I think is undervalued in child development. Once she figured out how to do that, all bets were off. Discovering how to maneuver her legs so she could reach her feet was a big deal. Now she knows how to move! Last week, she scooted herself 3 feet on her back across the floor. She can pivot in circles around her head, and roll from her tummy to her back. In fact, tummy time has improved so much. She actually enjoys it now. She can do it for 20 minutes without being fussy.
Now she does this maneuver in which she arches her back, and pushes up on one leg, then rocks back and forth. I think it means that she's about to start rolling from back to tummy. Yay!
She's getting to the stage where she loves testing sounds. She'll throw a toy, or see what happens when she hits my mouth repeatedly while I sing to her, or hit herself in the head with her rattle (I wait for the tears every time, but they never appear. She's a tough cookie.) I love each stage more and more. I love seeing her grow, and learn, and explore. But I feel like I'm missing so much at the same time. I guess I just don't want her to grow up tooo fast.

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