Birth Story

Starting on Monday, March 21st, I couldn't feel the bean move as much as she had been. Or, really, at all. I've heard from everyone that movement slows down in the week or so before birth, so I was hopeful that it would be happening soon. My doctor said she should still be moving after every meal and at night when I'm going to bed, which she wasn't. I had an appointment on Thursday, March 24th and asked my doctor about her movement. She ordered a non-stress test after my appointment. For the hour I was on the monitor, bebe moved once. The doctor said her heart looked good, but she ordered me a non-stress test for the following Monday, set my induction date for April 4th, and sent me home.
On Friday, March 25th, I woke up still feeling uneasy. My Mom and sister called from my Mom's chemo treatment, and I shared my concerns with them. I kept telling my Mom that something wasn't right, and I needed to hold the bean in my arms, and then I would feel better. They both told me to go in and demand a non-stress test. So, I did. I drank juice, they put a vibration thing up against my belly, and the doctor tried moving her all around, but she wouldn't budge. I told my doctor that I would like an ultrasound, and it would really make me feel better.
She sent me to the hospital for a bio-physical profile, and they got me in right away. I called BD at work to let him know what was going on, and he said to let him know as soon as I knew anything. I also called my Mom and sister. The ultrasound tech was mostly quiet, but I got to see little bean's hands and feet move, and see her lungs working. She told me I could go home and would know within the hour.
I really didn't think anything was wrong. We've had so many false alarms, I'm used to over-reacting, but feeling better once I was checked out. I went to Old Navy and looked at baby clothes, then went to Barnes & Noble to continue searching for baby names, and doing parenting research. After the first hour with no news, I had a very anxious boyfriend, mother, and sister.
As I was beginning a list entitled "Things to do before the baby comes", the doctor called. She explained that my amniotic fluid was low, and that they wanted to induce me whenever I got to the hospital. I had a mini-panic attack, and she told me to pack last-minute things and eat a good meal. I left several books sitting out and left right away. As I was getting in the car, I called BD and said,
"We're having a baby."
"Today? Like right now?"
"Yes."
He left work to meet me at home. I called my Mom and sisters, drove home, and started grabbing last minute things. I forced myself to take a deep-breath, then walked in the nursery and cried my eyes out, staring at an empty crib that wouldn't be empty for long. BD got back and ate a meal, all while freaking out. I ate a banana. I made him stand in the nursery and take a deep breath, then told him to appreciate the silence for the last time. I kept rubbing my belly, trying to remember the feeling of the baby inside me. We got our last-minute things together, and left for the hospital.

Once we were settled and I was hooked up to monitors, the on call doctor came in to talk to us. She told us that we were in quite the dire situation. My fluid was not only low, it was dangerously low. There was 1 cc of fluid left (they like to see 10 cc). She said those are the babies that die, and that we were lucky to have found it now, before it was too late.

(And now to finish this story...)
I have to say that the worst part of the whole process was the monitors and iv. Especially since it was in my birth plan not to have those things. I was tethered to the bed by them, and couldn't even walk the halls.

Anyways, I was induced around 10 pm on Friday night. I slept maybe a total of 20 minutes the entire night. It was torture. Around 3 pm the following day, the on call doctor broke my water. Nothing was left. At 4 pm, my cervix had only dilated to 2.5 cm. (I had been at 2 cm for the last 3 weeks, so I had only progressed a 1/2 cm.) So, after 18 hours of drug-free labor and only a 1/2 cm of progression, it was decided that I would have a C-section. I cried. A lot. After all my work on my birth plan, my 2 months of hypnobabies, and TONS of research, I was disappointed. I felt like a failure. I know I wasn't, and the only thing that was important was a healthy baby, but I was disappointed. I wanted to do the whole thing naturally and drug-free. (*I learned that the best way of knowing what's going to happen, is to write a birth plan, and then expect the EXACT opposite to happen.)

Once a C-section was decided, the whole process happened very fast. BD dressed in scrubs and got the camera raedy. I said 'see ya later' to my mama, and they walked me into the operating room. (It was sterile and scary.) I was so afraid of moving while they did the spinal block (but I didn't). Not feeling pain is the weirdest sensation. I could feel what they were doing, but it didn't hurt. When I was all set up, they had BD come in and sit by my head. From there, it went quickly. BD talked to me the whole time.
When it was time to pull her out, the anesthesiologist held a mirror up so I could see her come out. :) She was so beautiful and perfect, all covered in blood and mucus. (BD says she looked like a demon.) BD just kept saying, "oh my goodness, oh my goodness", and taking pictures. I couldn't say anything. I just stared. I started crying right away. They cleaned her up and brought her over to Lee. I kissed her and stared. They took her to the nursery, and Lee stayed with me. I was so worried that everyone would get to hold her before me.
Now that she was out, and safe, I worried about me. They took about 30-45 minutes to close me up. I was trying not to freak out. (BD got a picture of the doctor sewing up my uterus while it was laying on my belly...eww.) They finally finished and took me to the recovery room. Lee's entire family and my mom and sister were waiting right outside my room. BD and the bean were waiting for me, and I got to hold her second, after him. :)
The nurses helped me start to breastfeed right away. It didn't work. Getting out of bed for the first time was horrible. I was very slow and in pain for the first two weeks. It took the baby and I about 10 days to get the hang of breastfeeding. It was very stressful.
Overall, I'm ok with the outcome. :) They took the staples out too early, and my incision separated. It became infected. I got an infection in my uterus, bringing on a cat-scan and 2 different antibiotics, and it still hasn't gone away. I couldn't get out of bed for the first week, even with vicodin, so I slept in a recliner. But through the pain and disappointment, I got the most beautiful and healthy baby girl.
Hopefully, once we finally get hooked up to the internet, I can start posting on a daily basis. Thanks for reading, and I would love comments and your continued support. Oh, and a vote if you wouldn't mind. :)

Happy Birthday!


Clara Leanne
Saturday March 26th, 2011
5:51 pm
6 lbs 15 oz 18 in

My apologies

I have not been on since moving! It's very stressful not having the interwebs. I've been wanting to post badly but have been very busy moving and unpacking and such. We don't have cable or internet at the moment, so I'm writing on my Mom's laptop. :) Sorry. The last week or so of my pregnancy was horrible! Combine not having the comforts of home, limited food options, and a CRAPPY mattress, and you have a very unhappy pregnant woman. Stay tuned.

All moved in...

We moved into the new place this weekend! It has so much space and I finally got to do the nursery. I'll have to post more at a later date, as I don't currently have a computer and I'm typing this on my phone. :)

Goodwill, anyone?

I have so much crap! I'm packing EVERYTHING today in anticipation of moving into our new apartment! Yay! It's cutting it close, I must say. We get the keys on Friday morning, and I know I've wanted the baby out like crazy, but if she could at least wait until Saturday or Sunday to make her appearance, I'll feel a lot better about things. I know she has to come out eventually, but it feels like it's taking forever! (13 days to go until the guess date!)
Anyway, I'm moving a bunch of smaller stuff in my car tomorrow night, and my Mama is coming with a truck of all of my big stuff on Saturday. BD Is going to move most of our furniture on Saturday and Sunday as well. The thing is, he tends to do things on "Lee time". As in when it's convenient for him. Last night, I tried to explain to him that I've been needing to nest... badly... for about 2 months now. He doesn't get it. He says "we'll put the crib up when we get around to it". Which, to him, means when the baby comes home from the hospital and needs a place to sleep. I'm NOT waiting for that to happen. So, I think when my Mom brings stuff up on Saturday, we're going to put the crib together, as well as much of the nursery.
Now that I'm packing everything, I realize how much crap I have. I have soo many clothes that I'm sure I'll never be able to wear again. :( Once we move in, I'm going to have to go through everything (if I'm still killing time before the baby comes) and do it then. Can anyone say tax deduction?
I have a few projects to work on as well. I need to do paddles for my sorority. Mine broke (I don't want to talk about it... I'm still bitter), so I want to re-make it. Not to mention I want to make my pledge class paddle, and my sister, Melissa's paddle. Also, I want to make a crib skirt and bumper for the nursery, and I came across a pattern for a little stuffed elephant which would be soo cute for the baby. So, some last minute things to make my pre-baby resolutions would be nice. Ohhh! And my mom found a pretty white canopy for over the crib in the nursery at Goodwill for $2.99! So I need to do some work on that as well. I'm going to be busy!

38 weeks (14 days to go until the guess date!)

How your baby's growing:
Your baby has really plumped up. She weighs about 6.8 pounds and she's over 19 1/2 inches long (like a leek). She has a firm grasp, which you'll soon be able to test when you hold her hand for the first time! Her organs have matured and are ready for life outside the womb.
Wondering what color your baby's eyes will be? You may not be able to tell right away. If she's born with brown eyes, they'll likely stay brown. If she's born with steel gray or dark blue eyes, they may stay gray or blue or turn green, hazel, or brown by the time she's 9 months old. That's because a child's irises (the colored part of the eye) may gain more pigment in the months after she's born, but they usually won't get "lighter" or more blue. (Green, hazel, and brown eyes have more pigment than gray or blue eyes.)

How your life's changing:
For many women, the next couple of weeks are a waiting game. Use this time to prepare your baby's nursery or to take care of necessary tasks you may not get around to for a while after your baby's born. Take naps, catch up on your reading, and spend uninterrupted time with your partner while you can.
Some swelling in your feet and ankles is normal during these last weeks, but call your practitioner without delay if you notice excessive or sudden swelling of your feet or ankles, more than slight swelling of your hands, any swelling in your face or puffiness around your eyes, or have a sudden weight gain. Also let her know immediately if have severe or persistent headaches; visual changes (such as double or blurred vision, seeing spots or flashing lights, light sensitivity, or a temporary loss of vision), intense upper abdominal pain or tenderness, or nausea and vomiting. These are symptoms of a serious condition called preeclampsia.

At Home Induction

I have never been so uncomfortable in my entire life. BD is really sick of my bitching and moaning. But I'm going to vent to you. Because I know you care. I dread sleep every night. Sleeping seems like it would be a nice release, but it makes the pain worse. I toss and turn between my left and right side and sleep with a pillow between my knees to try to be comfy, but it just makes my hips, pelvis, and back ache. But I can't lay on my back or tummy.
She keeps being a tease. I'll get really bad menstrual-like cramps, sharp pains in my pelvic/cervical area, and spasms that feel like contractions (but are not regular and I assume it's her moving around), but nothing sticks. They say that if you walk, and the pain goes away, it's just false labor. Well, I'm having plenty of that. I'm ready for the real thing!
So, even though we're moving into our apartment this weekend (we'd better, or I swear someone's gonna get punched in the face), and it would be much better to wait, I'm sick of being pregnant. So, I've been researching old wives' tales to see if any of the techniques will work for me.

Things I've tried:
Pineapple- I'm so sick of it! I eat it every day!
Walking- I'm on my feet as much as my back will allow.
Squatting- I'm starting to be able to do it for longer, but it's still no longer than 7-10 minutes at a time.
Going up stairs- I've tried this. Even two at a time.
Sitting on a birthing/exercise ball- yep. Much comfier than other options, but doesn't feel like it would do anything.
Lunges- My thighs are starting to get into shape, but no baby.
Spicy food- delicious, but ineffective.
Acupressure- apparently, there are spots that induce labor in the webbing between your thumb and index finger, and 4 finger-widths above your ankle. They didn't work.

So, basically, I'm desperate. Any other ideas? I've mostly been trying to use gravity to my advantage to get the baby's head to open my cervix up. I'm already 80% effaced, so softening isn't necessary.

Oh, and vote for my blog. :) Pretty please?

Pregnant in America

So, I just finished watching the documentary film Pregnant in America. It was fabulous. I thought I was pretty informed about my options for childbirth, seeing as I've had 9 months to research. I had no idea what I was missing. I recommend this film to anyone and everyone who is pregnant, thinking about having a baby, or knows someone who is pregnant. I know my lovely friend, Rachel, will be very excited about this film, and will probably tell everyone she knows everything about it for weeks. :)
I am finalizing my birth plan this week. Cutting it a bit close, I know. But I wasn't exactly sure what I wanted out of my birthing experience. Now I do. I have no idea if it is covered by my insurance, but if I could back up a couple of months, I would have worked with a midwife instead of an OB, and I would be delivering at home or in a birth center.
"Birth plan outline": (Basically, as little medical intervention as possible)
-No IV
-No pain medication, epidural or otherwise
-Limited number of internal exams
-Limited fetal monitoring (I believe the minimum is 20 minutes every hour)
-No contraction monitor

-Use of hydrotherapy, birthing ball, and masseuse.
-Dimmed lighting
-Silence
-As little people in the room as possible (BD and my mommy will be there for the delivery)
-No use of episiotomy, forceps, or a vacuum.

-No coached pushing (No holding my breath and bearing down. I want my body to tell me what to do, not the doctor.)
-Waiting to cut the umbilical cord until it stops pulsating. (I've heard of people leaving the placenta attached until the umbilical cord falls off... but that weirds me out.)
-BD cuts the cord... (I wanted him to "catch" the baby... but I don't even think he's gonna look down there. Which is probably best.. He'll pass out.)

Basically, I believe that my body knows how to give birth. I want as little medical intervention as possible, and I DO NOT want to be asked repeatedly if I want an epidural. I want to be able to labor in any position I feel comfortable. This includes being able to move around, which is why I don't want any monitors or IV.
I would not do well with having to lay on my back in bed the whole time, just having to deal with the pain. No wonder so many women get epidurals!

I've been told a bajillion times that I'm absolutely crazy for wanting a natural birth. That I'll "end up getting an epidural" because I "won't be able to deal with the pain". Maybe not. But maybe I can. I believe that giving birth naturally is what my body is meant to do. It's just temporary pain, and I can do that for my daughter. I know that I'm strong enough to do this. BD says I want it just for the bragging rights, and yeah, sure, that's a part of it. I think there will be no better high. That I will be so proud of myself and my body and my daughter. I could definitely use the confidence boost.
If anyone wants to further understand why on earth I would want to do this, PLEASE watch Pregnant in America. It will open your eyes to a whole new world of childbirth.

And please, vote for my blog. :) Thanks.